Dear Best Friend,

Dear Bestfriend,

Rachel Elizabeth Clinefelter. When I met you, I never would have guessed you'd become so important to me. But now, three years later, I can't even imagine going a day without you by my side. I wonder if Ratatouille ever stopped to think about what an awesome thing he did? 

I met you in the summer of 2009. When Melissa and I got to your house, I thought you would be someone I met once, became MySpace friends with and then never talked to again. That is, if your dog didn't eat me whole. But within the first twenty minutes, I realized your Cooper wasn't going to eat me, and you and I were going to become great friends. Also life savers of the mouse community. 

I hated that I met you two weeks before I moved. It gave us limited time to hang out, and that sucked. But saving a mouses life, going to Melissa's graduation, dressing like hookers at Robertitos, riding a purple dinosaur, meeting the scariest man on the planet, getting kicked in the head by pinatas and wearing our highest heels to Killer made my last few days in California amazing.

After I moved, we talked like every second of every day. You helped me through all the things that happened to me there. Anytime my stepdad lost it, you listened. You were there for me through every difficult thing I had thrown my way. When good things happened, you were always the first person I told. Whenever my stepdad would fly off the handle towards the end, you kept me sane with all of our ridiculous escape plans. "Having a brother with a pilots license is great, we can just kidnap him and make him fly us to another country." That was the plan. Nevermind the actually getting ahold of a plane. We'd deal with that later.

Cue our first actual fight. What the fuck was wrong with us? I was moving back in two weeks, and suddenly I wasn't friends with the person I had spent the last year so excited to see first. The rest of 2010 was a lot of ups and downs for us, and I didn't think we would make it through. There was such a huge gap between us, even when things were fine, it was obvious we were both hesitant to let our walls down again. I hated that so much. Then I started hanging out with a crappy group of people, got into drugs and wedged an even bigger wedge between us. But in the end, I think that's also what saved us.

The night I was overdosing, you were the only person I reached out to that honestly helped me. Everyone else gave me either "You're overreacting" or "Just calm down, you're fine." And of course, my favorite, "No, you're fine. I'm on probation. You just have to puke or we'll get in trouble and I'll go to jail." Instead, you bought me bread, a toothbrush and toothpaste. I honestly don't think you realized how important to me that was and still is. I honestly don't think I'd still be here today if it weren't for you.

You tried to hide it, but I could tell that I was disappointing you. We may not have been as close as we were before then, but you were still one of the most important people to me. I knew I was hurting you and letting you down, and after that night, I couldn't stand it anymore. I needed help, and you gave it to me. You may not realize it, but you gave me a second chance. 

The battle of getting sober honestly would have been impossible without you by my side. You've been the one person I can talk to about the night terrors, the shit I see, the depression I had for months, every time I've thought about relapsing, everything. It hasn't been an easy road on either of us, but you've stuck by my side. You've made it easier on me. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you.

The last year and three months, we've grown closer than ever before. You and I are basically this strange mix of polar opposites and the same friggen person. We're an odd pair, but I love every minute of it. We've come so far in the last three years. We may not have known each other since we were two, but we really did grow up together. Together we've survived everything life throws at us. We're indestructible. No one truly understands the way I work better than you do. I'm stubborn as fuck and I generally don't listen to advice from other people, but I listen to you. 

Thank you for having a dying mouse in your pool. Thank you for every ridiculous plan we've formulated together. Thank you for listening to me when shit gets tough. Thank you for letting me tell you how I honestly think about everything without judging me. Thank you for every smile. Everytime we've laughed so hard we couldn't breathe. Every inside joke. Every silly thing we've done. Thank you for the three and a half cookies. Thank you for sticking by my side when everyone else walked out on me. Thank you for everything. You're the best. I love you. <3