Avalerian.

Everyone has their good luck charm. For some, it's a lucky sock that helped them in baseball. For others it's a rosary, an old sweater, a certain necklace, a teddy bear, or something else that has brought them luck and comfort over their lifetime. For me, it's a white owl that my mom and I named Avalerian.

As you all know, in the last year and a half, my life has been falling apart. My parents are in the middle of a divorce, my step brothers are 1300 miles away and we no longer talk. I became addicted to drugs, and had quite the battle coming off of them. I lost almost all of my friends when I sobered up. And in July my sister from another mister, Kenzie, was in a horrible accident. My moms life has been quite the roller coaster as well, especially with the divorce.

Sometimes, these things get to us. And we find ourselves praying for a sign that things are going to get better. My mom prays to god, and I personally pray to whatever/whoever is out there and listening. Whenever we ask for a sign, this white owl flies over us and squawks. Most of the time, it literally appears out of thin air and we both will say in unision, "WHERE THE FUCK DID HE COME FROM?!".

Skeptics will say it's just coincidence, but I think it's happened far too many times in the last year and a half to be coincidence. It happens just about very single time my mom and I are asking for a sign. We see him every night, almost. At work, driving home, my grandmas house, my house, the grocery store. Everywhere. No one else I've talked to has ever seen a white owl. And most certainately not as many times as mom and I have. Up until Avalerian came around, I have NEVER IN MY LIFE seen an actual owl. Never. In. My. Life. You guys, I grew up here. White owls or any other color owls aren't regular here. Not even kind of. Never in my life. And now I've been seeing one almost every night when I'm praying, and you want to tell me that's coincidence? No.

For those of you who dont know, Naval Weapons is the part of our military base that has all the underground bunkers full of napalm and bombs and other explosives. Sure there's some wildlife. But never in my life did I EVER see a deer until I moved to Montana. Much like owls, deer aren't very common here. My Montana friends might not understand this, but there really isn't an abundant amount of deer. Seeing a deer on the side of the road isn't a common thing. Like I said, I lived in this town my entire life. And never once saw a deer until I moved to Montana.

In the first couple months following Kenzie's accident, I would randomly see deer on Naval Weapons. But I'd only see one if I was thinking about her. And by thinking I really mean praying. Begging god for a sign of hope. What better animal could he have chosen to represent a sign about Kenzie than a deer? Maybe a horse, but I think God realized I probably would have shat my pants if I came across a horse just chillin on the side of the road.

Then came Kenzie's trip to the hospital in Seattle. Every single night that she was there, I saw a doe in the same place on the side of the road. Every single night coming home, I would see this deer. Ever since Kenzie went back to Montana, I haven't seen a single deer.

Now I have to tell you guys what happened tonight, because my mind is so blown.

Tonight while I was at my grandmas, I got on Facebook. One of the ads on the side said "you, Kenzie Zarn and yaddayaddaotherpeople like this." I don't even remember what it was. But I lurked her facebook page some, and then I logged off the Internet and left. While I was driving home, I had my iPod on shuffle. "Big Green Tractor" by Jason Aldean ended, and then came on "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney. That song always makes me cry, so as I was pulling onto my street I was crying. I started praying for her brain to heal faster, cause damn it we all miss her voice. I said it exactly like that too. I pulled into my parking spot and I noticed something white up on my porch out of the corner of my eye. So I get out of my car and I look up, only to see Avalerian perched on the railing. He's just sitting there and he's watching my car. I made eye contact with him and my jaw dropped. He hooted, took flight, did a circle around my apartment, and flew off into the night.

I must've stood there in awe, staring at my porch like an open mouthed idiot for a good two minutes. My heart is still racing.

Ain't no one on this earth gonna tell me that's not a sign.