You probably won't leave this post unoffended.

I've been fighting with how to say these things in the least offensive way possible for the last couple days. However, tonight I came to the conclusion that there simply isn't a way to say these things without pissing people off. So I decided I'm just going to call it how I see it. No censorship and no apologies. If you get offended, oh well. You can't say I didn't warn you. Grow up and quit reading my posts. I have a warning for a reason.

For the first order of business, Erikas punishment has been decided. She has to be on probation until she's eighteen. She has to do a presentation on the dangers of speeding. And she has to pay a fifty dollar fine. But she keeps her license. WHAT THE FUCK?! My parking ticket cost more than that. Park in a red curb zone? $70. End someone's life? $50. YEAH, TOTALLY MAKES SENSE, "JUSTICE" SYSTEM! I'm glad she has to do a presentation. However, her peers know Kenzie. They know first hand what happened. So I'm not sure what good that will do, since they all already know and have been grieving the accident for six months. Probation? What good is that going to do? She has her license still. Is it going to take her ending someone else's life to get her off the roads?

I'm so tired of hearing people defend her and say "well she's punishing herself". No, she isn't. Someone who was punishing themselves for ending their best friends life would attend the fundraisers held to pay the hospital bills that THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR. Someone who was punishing themselves wouldn't be driving anymore. She would be too scared to drive again. I personally get scared everytime I get behind the wheel now. She's fine. Someone who was punishing themselves would do more for the victims family than she has done. And I don't mean cause them grief and heartbreak, because she has done enough of that. Someone who was punishing themselves wouldnt worry about if the fines are going to be too expensive and cut into her getting extensions. Erika isn't punishing herself. Her actions only punish those around her. Especially Kenzie and the Zarn family. These are my personal views, and while Kayla and I may agree on some of them, I in no way shape or form speak for any of the Zarns.

I've been told that I shouldn't be so rude with Erika. That I shouldn't be so angry because it could have been Kenzie driving just as easily. And yes. She absolutely could have been in Erika's place. I fully agree. However, the difference lies in how they would react. We all have seen how Erika's reacted. Kenzie would have been different. Kenzie would have done everything in her power (and then told the universe to fuck itself when there was something she couldn't do, then she would have found a way to do it anyway) to make sure Erika was taken care of. She would have gone to every fundraiser held by other people and she would have created her own. She would have gotten off her ass and HELPED. So no one tell me I can't be mad at Erika. Because I can, and I fucking am.

Second order of business. If one more fucking person asks me about Trevor I'm going to lose my shit. Trevor is not in my life anymore. Yes, he was my brother for four years. But he isn't now. The ridgeways like to throw away those that love them. Just like his father threw my mom and I away, Trevor threw us away as well. Yes, it hurts. It hurts like hell. I meant it everytime I said I loved him. I meant it everytime I said i would always be there for him. I meant it everytime I said I didn't care what happened between our parents, he'd always be my brother and my best friend. I meant every word of it. Unfortunately, when he said those things to me, he didn't mean it. Trevor not being a part of my life anymore was NOT my choice. It was all his. He walked out of my life at the end of November. Actually he kinda stormed out of it. But it was all his choice. So, it is what it is. I don't hate Trevor one bit. I hate his father and his grandparents. But, rather I like it or not, I do love and miss Trevor. I hold no hard feelings towards him, it's pretty impossible for me to stay mad at him. I am very upset with the situation and his choices, but again, it is what it is.

Thirdly. I seem to be surrounded with girls who think I'm trying to fuck their boyfriend. And frankly, you all can go fuck yourselves. ;) don't call yourself my "friend" and then go and imply that you think I'm a whore. When a man is taken, he's taken. I will not go against that and FUCK YOU if you think I will. If you do, you're clearly not my friend. I'll go on record now and say that I will NOT fuck my friends boyfriends. Not even if they try to come on to me. I will play oblivious and pretend I don't motherfucking notice. Even if my guy friends girlfriend isn't my friend, IM NOT HOOKING UP WITH ANYONE WITH A GIRLFRIEND. It also offends me that you assume that I would fuck a guy I'm not dating - girlfriend or not. I don't have time for girls who think that I'm a whore yet try and call me their friend. I'm done with you. But for the record...? If I wanted to fuck your boyfriend, well sweetie, it wouldn't be difficult. Go fuck yourself. (;

Also, I'm tired of people talking to me in Spanish. My skin glows in the dark, I'm blonde and German. Im fucking white. I don't know whats so hard to understand about that, but that's clearly quite the concept for some of my coworkers. Yes, I speak the language for the country I live in and not the bordering country which I have no desire to ever move to or visit. Holy shit. Why is that so difficult to understand? It's not MY fault they moved to a country without learning the language fully. Why should I have to speak another language to cater to them? And this isn't just to my coworkers, but to every Mexican with a sense of self entitlement. I refuse to learn spanish. I have not and will not ever go to mexico. Or any other country for that matter. Maybe Canada but they speak English anyway. Why should I have to learn Spanish? I may live close to the border, but unless I live on the other side, you fucks can learn english or just not talk to me. This also applies to any other foreign people, but living so close to Mexico I really only ever get hassled by Mexicans. I am NOT racist. Half my family is Mexican. They don't expect me to speak spanish. They call me the cracker in the family, and I'm okay with that. Cause I am. I'm white and I'm proud. Call me racist if you want, and I'll call you full of shit. Mexicans can be proud to be Mexican, black people can be proud to be black, Cubans can be proud to be Cuban and so on and so forth. I'm white and I'm proud. Fuck you if you don't like that.

Yes. I'm German. No I had nothing to do with the holocaust. (HOW MANY YEARS BEFORE I WAS BORN WAS THAT?!) No. I'm not a nazi. No, I'm not related to hitler. No, I'm not related to any nazis. No. I don't hate the Jews. When will people learn that more things came out of Germany than just the holocaust..?

And now, in something not offensive, I've decided on two tattoos I'm getting soon. I'm getting my grandparents initials on my wrists. Granny on the left, gramps on the right. My grandparents are pretty much my favorite people in the world, and I'd be nothing without them. And I don't mean that in the they-created-the-lady-that-created-me sense. But no one tell them!! It's a suprise.(;

Okay, goodnight. :)