Hes playing with his hot wheel cars in the sand at the bottom of the slide, and I'm at the top on the landing of the playground with my barbies. I throw one down the slide, in an effort to get his attention. I don't hit him, but i do get his attention. Of course he's angry, I just chucked a Barbie at him. So he throws his toy car right back at my face. Hits me square in the mouth, causing one tooth to fall out and quite a bit of blood to pour out of of my gums As the blood is dripping down my face, we formed an unbreakable bond.
From that moment on, we have been inseparable. The last fourteen years, this kids been my other half. Throwing a toy at a random kid is the best choice I have ever made. I would be nothing without him.
Every minute I have spent happy, he's been by my side. Every minute spent angry, sad, confused, hurt, you name it, Levi Jeffrey Estrada has been there. He's been the one dependable thing in my life, no matter what is going on. He's supported me through the best and worst times. I wouldn't be here today without him.
I struggled with depression a lot in my younger years. In November of 2006, for irrelevant reasons, I attempted suicide. I stole a bunch of pills and I swallowed them. (this is why I can't swallow pills now, btw.) about a minute later, my phone rings. Levi had no idea I was doing this. No one did. But he called me to see how I was doing. At the sound of his voice, I started crying. I told him I loved him five thousand times, at least. I know he thought I was a weirdo, but like I said, he had no idea what was going on. I told him I'd call him back soon. I hung up the phone and vomited until I was sure the pills were out of my system. I vomited until nothing was coming up. And then I called him back and told him how grateful I was for him. I never told him what happened that day until 4 years later, in 2010. And even then we didn't get into it. Still to this day, he doesn't know the full story.
Had Levi not called me, I wouldn't have remembered that I did have reason to live. I did have reason to fight. I did have someone who loved me, despite the monster I thought I was. I owe every breath I have taken since that day to him. This is the main reason why I won't tolerate anyone in my life who doesn't get along with him. We are a package deal. You can't love me and not love Levi. Without Levi, there would not be a me to love. As it stands right now, I would have been dead for five and a half years. If you didn't know me before the first half of eighth grade, you would NEVER have known I existed, had it not been for this boy.
Levi is everything to me. Since the very first day on the playground. Before the blood on my face was dry, I knew we wouldn't spend a moment apart. I dont mean physically apart. Obviously with him living two hours away that isn't possible. But emotionally.
Everywhere I go, I carry Levi in my heart. I truly believe Levi is my soul mate. Now, before people start thinking this is some confession of in loveness, I'd like to point out that I don't mean that in the typical sense. I dont believe soul mates have to have a romantic level to them. Clearly, Levi and I don't. We go boy hunting together.
But I believe Levi's my soul mate. My soul and his are intertwined. You can't have just me without aspects of him. You can't have just him without aspects of me. Honestly, I don't even know which personality traits started as my own or I inherited from him and vice versa. Without him, I would truly be broken. My soul would be ripped into pieces. I do not know how to live without him. Nor do I want to learn.
Our friendship isn't a pushy one. It isn't one sided. It isn't stressful. It isn't one where either of us have to hide who we truly are. Not that we could since we're basically the same person, yknow. But still. It isn't one where we lie to save the others feelings. It isn't one where we even sugar coat. It isn't a friendship that we have to force. We don't preach at each other. We don't lecture. We don't try to change each others ways. If something makes one of us happy, the other supports us. We'll defend each other, right or wrong, to the very end. We're in this together, forever. Levi is my bestfriend, my partner in SOOO many crimes, my personal comedian, the one person who knows me like I know me, my reason to smile when things get tough, the person who listens, TRULY listens and remembers, my very best friend, my rock, my hero, my soul mate, my other half.
And that my friends, is how all friendships should be.
I love you Levi. 1998-forever.
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